
In Defence of the 90s: The Boy Band
Setting the record straight on the ever-divisive subject of 90s style
The getting sure was good for the ‘90’s boybander, wasn’t it? Being in a boyband back then didn’t require talent, per se, just a near gymnastic approach to artistic integrity, a jawline genetically engineered to cut glass, and an all-consuming black hole where your personality ought to be.
Originality wasn’t exactly high on the 90’s agenda, either. And before you jump to their defence, consider this: Five was literally called Five because there were five members to the group. Also, replacing the ‘F’ in Five with the number five and not having people read it as ‘Fiveive’ was also a pretty damning indictment of the band’s core demographic. There’s really nothing to stick up for here.
Bottom line, there wasn’t a whole lot of personality on display in your average 90’s boy band (hence the Gestalt, strength in numbers approach, I suppose). But if there’s one thing I know from experience, dear reader, it’s that style can more than make up for even the mightiest of deficits in personality. Style, as a matter of fact, has long been the last bastion of the uninspired and uninteresting.
And what a style it was. A veritable roll call of the stone-washed, the tie-dyed and the ill-fitting. Think oversized tracksuits and equally oversized double denim ensembles. Think tank tops; crop tops and, in some cases, no tops at all. There were dungarees and PVC trenchcoats aplenty; sunglasses worn in the dead of night below backwards cap and sideways cap alike. And the accessories, my god, the accessories.
To look back at the 90’s boy band style is to revel in the kind of cacophonic garishness and in-your-face, fashion excess that could have only come from a decade of being contractually forbidden from ever dressing yourself. Oh, how I miss it so.
The years have seen the boy band style refine itself somewhat and that’s a real shame, for it truly was a thing of aggressively manufactured and expertly market-researched beauty. The 00’s saw a new wave of talent show-borne boy bands, each one bright eyed, baby faced, and oiled up like a human battery recently unplugged from The Matrix.
Compared to that, the 90’s iterations don’t seem all that bad, now I think about it. In fact, I might have come on a little strong with the whole talentless, black hole personality thing. I guess I just miss you, 90’s boy bands. My apologies. Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn’t mean it. I just want you back for good.