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It’s a tired Wednesday morning in Soho when I sat down with Louis Byrne, accompanied by oat milk flat whites and an instant sense of comfort. Despite the early morning, his smile is bright and welcoming, and he sweeps me into his home with a gentle kindness that permeates everywhere. I can tell instantly that Louis is one of those people that you want to be around. Although he lives a magnetic character in a busy, ever-evolving industry, there’s something solid about him. It’s clear to see why he’s a grounding friend to many of our favourite stars. 

Pleasantries out of the way, Louis hands me his new book: The I Can I Am I Will wellness journal. It’s a thirteen week course to jot down your thoughts, reconnect with yourself, and remember why we all bother getting up in the morning. It asks you to make three statements: ‘I Can…; I Am…; and I Will…”. Inter-spliced with images and stories from his expansive clientele, the journal serves as a reminder that we all need to take time to just be with ourselves. Louis explains:

“I’ve always offered a support system through my work as a stylist and hairdresser. I’ve always offered that sense of companionship. When I started to incorporate empowerment and wellness into my sessions, it felt a natural progression of what I was already doing. These celebrities got involved in the movement because it helped them, so they’ve become an integral part of growing I Can I Am I Will.”

But how did it start? When I ask this, Louis claps his hands and then takes a long, centring breath. And then he says: Let’s go back to the start. 

Born in Northampton in the early 80s; Louis’ dad left the family when he was two days old. His mum relied heavily on his auntie Val and uncle Les and he’d end up spending weekends and school holidays at their house. The fondness he holds for his Aunt Val seeps into the way he talks about her, of how he used to — at four and five years old — sit her down and do her hair. 

“She loved it!” He laughs. “Well, she told me when she didn’t love it. She was an amazing character, I used to see her as very strong but she was very sensitive at the same time.”

This sensitivity was something Louis felt within himself. He explains how he had a stepdad who “just really didn’t like me being around”. Similar tensions existed for him at school, he details growing up as a boy who liked to cut hair in the throes of a small, working class town in the late eighties and early nineties. 

“Naturally, I was told that I was queer before I even knew what it was.” 

It came to it then that Louis felt, by his step into adulthood, that disconnect between who he was being and his authentic self. It was the death of his brother that made him realise something in his life had to change. Yet, even when he moved down to London, came out as gay, and settled into his hairdressing career, there was this still this sense of disconnect. 

“You can come out and tell people, but what does it mean for you, and how do you understand it? It’s quite difficult. […] I had so much shame and regret surrounding myself that I wasn’t able to be proud of myself, I wasn’t able to put it out there.”

Louis continued to feel himself move further and further away from himself as a two decade long spiral. “It all sort of culminated really in 2015 when I was diagnosed as HIV positive.”

He tells me that this is the first time he’s spoken about it publicly, but that he’s managed to reconcile the shame and stigma of the diagnosis to be part of his story. “I’m asking people to share their truths, so I need to share my own. I take one tablet a day, which means it’s completely undetectable with me and I look after myself. I’m healthy.”

“I used to wake up crying, when I was deep in depression and these negative cycles of behaviour, and I had a bit of a breakdown. One morning, I woke up and these words ‘I can, I am and I will’ appeared in my head. They gave me hope.”

“Wellness, manifestation, mindfulness…I’m a council estate boy from a working class town and all the talk about those things is hippy dippy and pretentious. So I used these words as a guide, as a perspective, and started to invest in my wellbeing in a way I could relate to.”

“I Can I Am I Will has been about meaning, it’s been about intention, about connection and community. So the way I view it, if what I’m doing has all of those things, then I’m happy.”

Now, Louis is happy but, moreover, he’s content. And he’s bringing I Can I Am I Will into schools, into the corporate world and even having discussions with the government. 

iciaiw.com / @louisbyrneiciaiw

Words: Beth Bennett

Imagery Courtesy of Louis Byrne / I Can I Am I Will